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‘What did you do tonight?’ ‘Not much.’ ‘Are you feeling OK?’ I didn’t answer. He didn’t ask again. He got undressed and came into bed with me. He lay close, but didn’t try to embrace me. I was relieved. It occurred to me at last why I felt so ambiguous towards him. I didn’t want his pity. I didn’t deserve it. Long after Sasha’s breathing told me he was asleep, I lay in the same position, eyes open, looking at the street light outside the bedroom window. The thoughts I had been avoiding kept trying to sneak into my head, I had become too tired to fight them off now. The strongest one, the one I dreaded dealing with the most, finally pushed its way up front. I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I’ve got to get out of here. Sasha doesn’t need such a pathetic burden like me hanging around. I slipped out of the bedroom and closed the door behind me. I sat on the sofa, awake, until dawn. By the time Sasha emerged from his room, I knew what I was going to do. ‘There you are! Did you get up. "Maybe I'll hang onto them and donate everything with the clothes I'mthrowing out to Goodwill," I suggested casually, heart pounding.Jake shrugged and returned to the kitchen. "Knock yourself out, dude."I didn't detect suspicion in his voice. And why would there be any? Tomost red-blooded males, women's clothing held no significance beyond beingstrangely overpriced. But to me, they allowed me to unleash a wild, sexualside of my personality that I kept carefully suppressed.Hands shaking, I lugged the heavy box back to my room. Maybe just a quickpeek. I quietly tore the tape off the bulging box, flipped open thecardboard, and gaped, flabbergasted, at the absolute trove of femininetreasures inside. From sky-high pumps to slinky thigh high boots, laceylingerie sets to sporty yoga apparel, cute sweater dresses to indecentlyshort leather skirts, there were at least two dozen gorgeous, head-to-toeoutfits just begging to be tried on. Digging through the pleasantlyfloral-scented clothing, I.
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