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I asked my Kiwi mate how many sexual partners he’d had, he started counting and then drifted off to sleep.A bloke’s son fell asleep at a party, so for a laugh they decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face? His wife went fucking mental when she looked in his cot!A man goes into the local corner deli. When the clerk, a very buxom young girl, asks if she can get him anything, he leans over and whispers “Is it true that you give hand jobs in the back room?” “Why yes, sir” the shop assistant coos. “I’ve already had 5 satisfied customers this morning, and it’s only 11:30am”. “Good good” the man replies. “Well, go and wash yer hands then - I only want a ham sandwich”.Three hillbillies were sitting on the porch. The first hillbilly said “My wife is so dumb, yesterday she dragged home a brand new washer and dryer, and we ain’t even got electricity!” The second hillbilly said “My wife is stupider than yers, yesterday she brings home a new dishwasher, and we ain’t even got. I’ve emailed you her contact details, so go to it.” On the phone she had been brisk but not brusque, warm and friendly in tone but, nonetheless, businesslike. They arranged for him to visit her at home on the following Friday afternoon. Friday morning, the forecast was for heavy rain in the afternoon. He phoned her to suggest that an on-site visit to the park might not be feasible and that perhaps they should reschedule. But she insisted they stick to their appointment. “I’ve got plenty of site photos on my laptop, so we wouldn’t really need to go there.” It wasn’t raining when he left the office and went to the Council building’s underground car park. The downpour started very suddenly. * By the time he rang her doorbell, his shoes and his trousers below the knees, were sodden and mud-spattered, and his jacket and shirt were clinging soggily. With dread, he heard footsteps inside the house and braced himself for her response to his scarecrow-like appearance. It was a very.
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