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"It's to kill the bacteria."She held the bottle over my wound and sent about five drops down. It was so damn painful my eyes watered slightly. I remained silent though, and in a matter of seconds the pain eased. With her pillow she dried my wound. I enjoyed the feeling of having someone touching and caring for me."Where did you learn how to do this?" I asked."I learnt how to mend wounds when I was very little. I had to do it to myself all the time."Erika showed me her left wrist where a two-inch cut had only just started to heal. She must have been cutting herself recently."Why do you do that?" I asked."Why not?" You might hurt yourself." There are different kinds of pain. Some pain makes you feel good." What if you kill yourself?" I already told you--I don't care about death."I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent. Erika expected this silence. She stood up and turned her back towards me. She lifted her shirt up and exposed her bare back. Her back looked like a bird's eye. It was me who feel in love with my brother, making it impossible for me to love any other man. No matter how many men I dated, none of them every compared to Henry, which is why all of my relationships have failed. So I guess in the end, it was me who was stupid for loving a man that didn’t love me back with equal amounts. “I am not mad at you,” I said as tears began to quickly make their way down my cheeks. I was so angry at myself for crying, but I could not hold them in. My heart was broken and I could not fight my body’s need to let go of some of the pain. “I am mad at ....” I could not even tell him why I was mad. He would try to make me feel better and I knew that no matter what he did, I would not feel better. In the end of it all, he was going to get married tomorrow and I was going to go back home to ... nothing. Just another day in the life of me, I suppose. “Mad at what,” he asked me, genuinely curious as to what I was mad at. “Come on Abby, what are you mad at.” “I am mad.
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