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Every time she brought up the issue, Brian assured her that it was not her. He said that he loved her and found her as sexy as ever, things were just tough at work. But with the deep-seated abandonment issues from her childhood, Tara increasingly felt unloved and unattractive. She had actually begun writing erotica as a means of living out her fantasies of affairs with younger men. In her writing, she could once again become the confident, sexy woman that she had been before her marriage deteriorated. She could do and feel all the things she fantasized about…without risking the security that she had craved all her life and found in her rock. Even though she recognised that while her divorce from her first husband had been best for everyone, there was also an emotional price that her children had paid. From her own childhood, she viscerally understood that damage and was determined that Ella would not pay that price too. So what if the sex had become more like once or twice a month?. I mean that night we first had sex, made love or whatever, I wasn't ... it was just supposed to be fun. I didn't think it'd end up being as serious as it was. I didn't think..."Again Naiya paused to collect herself and wipe away a tear, but as she did she made the mistake of looking Ashlee in the eyes and saw, much to her dismay, that there were tears there as well and she immediately lost it. As she turned away from Ashlee she felt the tears begin to flow freely from her eyes as she said "I'm sorry" once again between sobs not at all expecting what happened next.In fact, she didn't even register the fact that Ashlee was no longer sitting in the chair by Naiya's desk until she felt her bed shift under Ashlee's weight. Even then she didn't react until she felt Ashlee, the person who had only moments before been berating her with words like bitch and cunt while calling her selfish, childish and stupid, suddenly embraced her in a full and loving hug.Suddenly, any restraint that Naiya.
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