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The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This compliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too early - 12 timesIt’s too hot - 18 timesPretending to be asleep - 31 timesThe neighbors will hear - 9 timesHeadache or backache - 26 timesSunburn - 10 timesYour mother will hear us - 9 timesNot in the mood - 21 timesWatching the late show - 17 timesToo sore - 26 timesNew hairdo - 6 timesWrong time of the month - 14 timesYou had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that. As the final plans were discussed and established, the main point of contention among the Seals was the initial approach. Once successfully inside the cove undetected, the next critical element was exiting the water undetected by anyone inside the buildings; the main house where the target would be and a separate building where the guards and help were housed. The approach would be just at sunrise, putting the new sun on the horizon and providing additional difficulties in identifying the approach. The initial plan had considered a first assault with a bow, at least that was my initial smart-ass response to the problem in the simulation. The planners liked the idea, but the Seals were less enthusiastic putting the initial assault into my hands. They were to bring the same bow and arrows I had been training with under Adrian’s tutelage. However, when I opened the crate, the weapons were something different. Mary and Steve had designed and created a replica of my Hoyt Gamesmaster.
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