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Joe jerked his head up like INTRUDER ALERT! Had justbellowed through foot-tall speakers inches from hisear. Luckily he hadn’t removed his beard because he wasfrozen with surprise.In the door way was the hourglass silhouette of thefriendliest reindeer he’d ever seen. She was wearinglittle antlers, a bell collar and a stretchy velvet tanbody suit that had made her look completely naked foran instant. Then she turned and revealed a tiny tuftedtail that looked very soft and inviting. She shook herlong auburn hair, making the bells jingle.“I’m sorry Santa,” she said, strutting over to Joe, whowas still stunned in the chair. “I’m a naughty girl. Ishould be all asleep in bed, sucking my thumb.” Sheslid her thumb between her glistening lips and sucked.“But I wanted to show you how much I’ve grown thisChristmas, Santa.” She placed her hands on Joe’s kneesand let him feast his eyes on her jumbo breasts. Herswollen nipples. ‘Sure, Trenton, I’ll talk to you later.’ I heard her sniff back more tears as I flashed over to the other call. ‘Hey homey, give me some good news.’ I exclaimed, knowing the day couldn’t get any worse. ‘Hey Dude, Um, sorry, but I ain’t got none.’ He said in his false suffer dude accent. ‘Like there was this party, and someone knocked over one of the torches and like dude threw his drink on it and it like exploded.’ He rambled on. ‘That sucks dude…!’ I interrupted his story. ‘So whose house was it at?’ I asked trying to get to the point. ‘Like, I was hosting and stuff. It was our pad….’ He huffed like I was being dense. ‘Like Dude, you think you can send your part of the rent early. I need to find a new place, man.’ ‘How bad was it?’ I asked, wondering why he needed my rent to get a new place. ‘It’s like totaled man. Like to the ground… but no one was hurt. It just took awhile to get the fire people here and stuff.’ He stammered on. ‘WHAT…?’ I screamed. ‘Hey Dude… Don’t need to yell.
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