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When I was eighteen I went away to University and we kept in close contact by letter and by telephone, and of course on vacations we were again almost inseparable. I must admit that I was no saint in my teens, and had a couple of brief affairs, and got into a few scrapes whilst away at University. Although I gave my body willingly in these little affairs, my heart was always at home with Nettie. Then suddenly she stopped writing and telephoning, I did not hear from her for a month, and when I did telephone, her father told me that Nettie did not want to speak to me. I could not imagine what I had done wrong, but my mother told me on the telephone later that she had become engaged to the new young Methodist Minister.At the time it seemed to me that my whole world had fallen apart. The thought of Nettie in the arms of another man drove me crazy, and for a time I lost all faith in women. Over the next six months I deliberately embarked on a number of sordid affairs with fellow female. RAPE flashed through my head in bold capitol letters, followed by JAIL and DEATH. The second that I stood there, my hand twitching at my side to reach for her, seemed a painful eternity, until something in me broke. I let go of all worries, all concerns, and in my wild and joyful abandoment, I reached forward, and laid two heavy hands on her shoulders.Now she looked up. Her confidence gone in an instant, her once sultry eyes now wide and frightened, she stared at me for a moment, holding her breathe. "You are a very pretty girl." I broke the silence, keeping one heavy hand on her shoulder, and running a finger down the side of her face with her other. Ahhh, her skin was a cool silken cream. It seams this entire ancounter hapenned in slow motion, so I could savor every flash of emotion that swam through her eyes, each surfacing in turn. First outrage, then fear, then an even darker terror. Ahh, sweet the tears that filled those whore's eyes and ran down her cheeks.Still she had not.
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