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And it feels so good to relax that tension and take another deep breath that you go ten times as deep as before. ‘So you see, you can’t fight it. Every time you try to fight, you just go ten times deeper. It’s easier just to relax into the trance, relax into the warm, lazy feel of those slow, even breaths and listen to my words. The only reason you ever wanted to fight it in the first place was to feel the relaxation of giving in. The only reason to hold your breath is to feel that rush of relaxation when you let it all out and go even deeper. ‘But soon, even that feels too much like effort. Too much like work. It’s so hard to think about your breathing now, because you’re so relaxed that it just happens all on its own. Just like your descent into deep hypnosis, that happens all on its own, too. You’re letting it happen, and it feels so good now just to let things happen. All you need to do is relax. All you need to do is breathe. All you need to do is go deeper. Your chest finds its. Now no longer, she wasmine. They mostly welcomed me -- "I can see just what Angela saw in you!"Some showed various degrees of wariness, however, and quite a fewseemed cool, even antagonistic, as if I'd intruded on somethingspecial they'd had together. I suppose I had. I wasn't goodenough? Instead of congratulating me they said grudging thingslike "We'll see!" and "I suppose she thinks she can make somethingof you." I was too happy to care."No ex-boyfriends on your invitation list?" I'd asked her at onepoint during the planning. "I don't mind gloating." I never did let any of my boyfriends get too close," she replied. "Maybe because they were always after only one thing," Inexplicable. I was after everything about her.Then with our marriage a real problem emerged, something we had todeal with. An old insecurity she'd always felt when dealing witha man who was too close to her, she told me. She had no problemwith her impersonal and collaborative relationships with men.
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