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..just a friend of a friend. I am not into young girls at all!” Fi-Fi nodded in apparent relief. “Two” I continued “She has short, blonde hair and you know that I like long, dark hair”. Fi-Fi nodded again, almost purring at being reminded of my tastes, shaking her gorgeous mane of brunette hair seductively as she did so. “Three” I continued “she is a hundred percent lesbian”. Fi-Fi interrupted me with a stifled “Ooh la la” as I continued “and four - unlike me she loves being tied up and dominated. I think that Mistress would like her - better a submissive lady than an unhappy chap in a role he does not care for.” “Oh, I agree!” replied my Yorkshire-francophone friend happily as I continued triumphantly on my thumb “...and five, she is rather pudgy and you know how much Mistress holds people who have let their bodies go in utter contempt! Their interests converge - my little girl likes to be thrashed and Mistress likes to dish it out...simples!” Fi-Fi sat back and clapped her. Go deep!You: What the fuck, I want a cream pie, God damn it!Me: (shoots a torrent of baby batter your ways) Touchdown! Right on that third eye of yours... wait for it... (dribbles down face, tits, belly, into lovely sweet cunt. 2 point conversion success! Still the greatest!You: Challenge!Kids: (storm into oval office) Gross! Is there a room in this God damn white house you two haven't swapped fluids?Me: Language, young lady and man! Since you're here can we get a ruling from are favorite two children?Kids: Dad! I'm probably traumatized for life now seeing you cover Mom with all that jazz.You: No, I think you mean jizz, kiddo.Me: Aww crap, some got on this amendment to the constitution of the united states of america. Kids: When's the divorce already?You: Your father would die before signing such a dissolution of our love. The sanctity of holy matrimony cannot ever be devalued in his mind by getting a divorce or his entire Roman Catholic core values he would.
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And my name isnt Diane, its Joanne. Oh my God, oh my God. My life was at an end. But still I tried: No, really, I can show you the emails – even a picture of her with a sign saying I should do this. I couldnt bring myself to utter the word rape. Diane gave a totally dismissive pah!. And the truth dawned on me. I had been horribly set up. Yet still I yabbered on. But Ive got the emails, the pictures of Diane, Joanne, whatever her name is… Sir… And we exchanged several emails and she… Sir! the police woman insisted. Will you please be quiet. You will have plenty of opportunity to put your side of the story back at the station and in court… In court. In court! God, no! Panic began to set in. Court, no no no. She advertised. I replied, she emailed me and… And thwack! The policewoman swung her truncheon up between my legs catching me full on in the balls. I crumpled to the floor doubled up in absolute agony. Even Diane – Joanne – gasped in shock. You didnt see anything did you, madam, the.

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