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The idea of her seeing someone else was bad enough but to hear that he had so blatantly screwed up was worse. He began to get a sick feeling in his stomach, his guts tying themselves in knots. He had lost track of the conversation behind him but didn’t care. He wanted to get out of there. He dropped his smoke, turned and pulled open the door, practically falling inside. The warm air hit him but it didn’t make him feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse. This couldn’t be. He had asked her out again but she said she was busy. She could have come back and said something later. Made a new date. So could you, dickhead, he thought to himself. Why didn’t you go up and ask her again? He couldn’t deal with this. He went up to his office and told his secretary that he was ill and was going home for the day. Once he was at home, he fell on the couch and tried to relax. Why are you acting like this? He thought. You only went out with her once! Why are you overreacting like. I guess not." You're at a disadvantage, not knowing what a father is. I don't know myself what it means to have one, in the way most people do. But I am a teacher, and I did learn things that helped me. I don't know what I can be to you. I certainly can't replace the people you should have had. But I can teach you... if you promise me something."I rubbed my swollen eyes. "Another promise? Okay. What's the deal?" Promise that you'll accept the fact that you're not stupid, you're not ugly, you're not incompetent. It's just that -- and don't take this the wrong way, hon -- it's just that you have things to learn. Promise you won't beat yourself over the head for what you can't be." Easy for you to say," I told her dryly, and reached up to scratch a pimple under my chin.Martha gently pulled my hand away from my face. "Don't, hon. Don't do that to your face." But it itches," I complained, scratching again."No!" Again she took my hand, this time holding it firmly and close to her. "Listen.
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