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That’s it, really.”“That’s it? Two lovers?” Christian asked, with, it has to be said, remarkably little tact, for which he received a thump on the arm from Ben. “My apologies, Madame,” he continued, bowing his head graciously, “but you are beautiful, you are intelligent and you are very sexy. How have you had only two men in your bed, it is all wrong! Quelle scandale! You should be, pardonnez-moi, what is Ben’s saying? Shitting them with a stick?” There was a pause while we tried to understand what Christian meant. Suddenly Ben slapped the tabletop with his palm, laughing.“The phrase is, ‘beating them off with a shitty stick’!” We laughed as Christian blushed at his mistake.“Yes, yes, ca va,” he smiled at his friend, “but my point is the same. It is not right for Caitlin to only have had two men in her life, even I have had more men than that!” He shrugged as Ben looked at him with incredulity. “Hey, I experiment a little here and there, there is much yet you do not know about me,. We also don't know how to relate to others. We are alone so we don'tpick up the interrelationship clues that other teens learn because theyare with friends. As adults we don't know how to deal with people sofind ourselves alone or, because we are afraid of people gravitatetowards rural areas because there are less people to deal with or majorurban areas because there everyone is anonymous.Many of us are "read" and caught out partially because we are fearful ofbeing read and caught out. We also might be read because there are fewgenetic 6' 2" women. Even after transition we may be mentally lookingover our shoulders to see if anyone is outing us, either maliciously orunintentionally. Either way we could be hurt and humiliated if ithappens.In addition to being gender dysphoric we may also have age dysphoria. Ihave seen the tears in the eyes of one physically adult "little girl" Icall daughter when we are in the company that includes real children. Itis then that I wish a miracle.
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