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”The second guy says “My hands shake so bad that when I ate breakfast today, I spilled half my coffee on my toast.”The third guy says “My hands shake so bad that the last time I went to pee I came taking my cock out.”Nina and Liz are having a conversation during their lunch break. Nina asks “So, Liz, how’s your sex life these days?”Liz replies “Oh, you know. It’s the usual, Social Security kind.”“Social Security?” Nina asked quizzically.“Yeah, you get a little each month, but it’s not enough to live on.”Women should be like golf caddies, either holding your balls or getting your bloody tee ready!A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery and the day after the procedure, a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. The friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc.“Why all the attention?” the friend asked. “You look fine to me.”“I know!”. ‘I just realized that Jennifer took off with the car keys. Can I call a cab?’ ‘Don’t bother. Let me grab my keys and I’ll drive you home.’ ‘Well, if you insist.’ Nothing seemed to melt her ice. I couldn’t see why a girl as sweet as Jennifer hung out with this snob, but I never claimed to understand women. When I found my keys, I remembered that Dave had borrowed my pickup and left me his Porsche 911 until he brought it back. Most girls don’t mind a ride in a 911, but Lydia obviously wasn’t most girls. ‘You want me to ride in this?’ ‘It’s what I have at the moment, unless you want to wait until my Rolls Royce gets back from the shop. Sorry if it isn’t good enough for you!’ She finally looked a little ashamed of herself. ‘Sorry, I’m just not used to cars this fancy. I’m more into bicycles myself.’ ‘It’s just a car. My brother’s, actually- he borrowed my pickup and left me this.’ ‘So you’re more the pickup type?’ ‘Ever try to tow a boat or haul firewood with a Porsche? It’s not easy,.
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