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"If the pantyhoseisn't a momento, then what is it for?" Here it was, the crux ofmy shame. I looked into her eyes. "To wear, Laura. I wear them."She looked at me as if seeing me for the first time. "You took my bridal lingerie. To wear. Yourself. Alone." "Yes" "And wank in?" This was twisting the knife I thought, but Ideserved it. "Yes."Laura thought for a moment. Clearly she had a lot of questions. Iwaited.Actually she had only one. She looked me dead in the eyes. "Do you think of me when you're wearing my lingerie andjerking yourself off?" (She told me later that if I'd so much ashesitated when I answered this, then she would have left methere and then.) "Of course." I replied. To me, it seemed obvious. I lovedher, I lusted for her, she filled my senses when she was thereand my mind when we were apart. All this, it seemed, she couldsee in my eyes. "Well, that's all right then." She said with a smile. Shegently folded the lingerie and to. “After LOCO I’ll tell you all there is to tell, then I won’t blame you if you walk away from me, but I want to see you in Boston next year, and if this keeps up that’s not likely to happen. Do you understand?”“I ... I guess so...”“Good! Let’s finish our stretches and do our warm-ups.”We did just that, and had one of our better training runs. I pushed my darker thoughts to the back of my mind, determined to qualify for Boston and get the truth out of Marge.Our training went well, and I was growing in confidence that I would do well enough to qualify for Boston. I wish I could say the same for our love life. Oh, we still dated, and we still had sex, though not quite as often as we had been.Some of the passion seemed to be missing, and to be honest, it was my fault. I was holding back, fearful of committing myself fully, not knowing what deep dark secret Marge was holding onto so tightly. As much as I couldn’t believe that it could be all that bad, SHE obviously did, and it sent shivers.
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