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The church had descended on her like jackals. They were so concerned with her salvation, you see. Oddly enough, they were never concerned with her salvation when my Uncle was alive, but when they saw an opportunity for the church and its members to benefit from my Uncle’s death, they developed a sudden vested interest in the salvation of her immortal soul. Praise god. Oh, and by the way, my Uncle wouldn’t give up a thin dime to the church — a bunch of ‘Jew-jockeying bastards’ he called them — but miraculously enough the preacher who gave his eulogy told this heartwarming story of how my Uncle had asked the preacher on his death bed to help him ask the lord to come into his heart and to help him accept the lord as his personal savior. Praise the lord, forever and ever amen. Then the preacher man told us how we, too, could be ‘saved’ by the righteousness of the lord. I wanted to fucking puke. My Uncle would have wrung that man’s neck like a chicken, and that bastard stood there telling. Think about it and send me an email if you’re interested. Bye.’ If she hadn’t been her usual self and made it impossible to get a word in edgewise, I would have told her not to bother. I really didn’t want to waste my time with another bitter victim of cheaters and other bad relationships. But I know that Karen would have pointed out that I was the pot to Randi’s kettle. I had a few bad long term relationships and a lot of short, dreadfully boring stints with bimbo-class women under my belt. So I decide to try something different. I write up lists of favorite authors and books that I’ve enjoyed and send the list to Karen, asking her to get the same lists from Randi, but to exchange the lists simultaneously with Toni and let Randi choose the next ‘topic of compatibility’. I figure I can tell as much from her choice of topic as I can from her lists. I also ask Karen not to give any photos of me or my last name to Toni. I have an inkling of a plan and it requires her to not know my name.
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