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I’ll make the reservation now.”“Thelt wants to talk with me privately, Relpt, about a matter immediately after Fourth Meal, so I will meet you in the Recreation Room about a time unit after we finish eating. He said it was ship’s business and personal. I don’t know how it can be both, but it shouldn’t take long.”“Do you know what he wants to talk about, Vert?”“Nope, no idea, but I have noticed that he has been much quieter than he normally is around everyone, so maybe he has a personal problem.”After Fourth Meal, Vert goes to Thelt’s office and asks, “Sir, may I inquire into why you wanted to speak with me privately?”“I’m not sure of the best way to say this, Vert. You and Relpt are well-known users of the Rumor Conduit.“Ship Commander Shimlt had me report to her briefing room. She informed me of all the details contained in her orders, and how she came to receive them. She then instructed me to pass certain portions of that information on to you.”“Me, Sir?”“Yes. You, Vert. She. Home of the Free!TRANSLATING WOMEN’S ENGLISHYes = NoNo = YesMaybe = NoWe need = I wantI’m sorry = You’ll be sorryWe need to talk = I need to complainSure, go ahead = I don’t want you toIs my bum fat? = Tell me I’m beautifulDo what you want = You’ll pay for this laterI’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re deadYou have to learn to communicate = Just agree with meBe romantic, turn out the lights = I hate my thighsYou’re so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lotDo you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensiveIt’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by nowYou’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TVHow much do you love me? = I did something today that you’re really not going to likeTRANSLATING MEN’S ENGLISHI’m hungry = I’m hungryI’m sleepy = I’m sleepyI’m tired = I’m tiredNice dress = Nice cleavage!I.
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