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" Yeah, about a year ago." How could that happen?" It began between Christmas and New Year. Maggie and I were having dinner at the club and all of a sudden she asked me if I liked having a dick." What kind of a question is that?" Well, yeah. That's what I said. Of course I like having a dick. Then she asked me, if I didn't have one, would I want to grow one?" That's even weirder." I know, but I had to say yes. So then Maggie says she feels the same way. She doesn't have one, and so she wants to grow one." What is that, penis envy?" Oh, they all deny that, but what else do you call it? You know how the ones who've done it show themselves off all the time. You see 'em everywhere now. I guess some of Maggie's friends at the club got 'em, and some of the women at her office, too. Then her sister did it, and our neighbor Brenda. All of a sudden it's like Maggie's the last woman in the world without a dick." What did you say?" I said liked here the way she was. But I guess she felt plain,. She asserts she is a completely capable driver, even though she refuses to wear her eyeglasses and has a cataract growing over her right eye. That changed, though, when she shaved the passenger side mirror from the door and left a streak of black mailbox along the side of my aunt’s new car. My grandmother had sworn she would never drive after that, even though I had been telling her for three years that she really wasn’t fit to drive, especially when she wouldn’t wear her glasses. Considering my grandfather drove her everywhere from the time he stopped working in the sixties, she was severely out of practice. She didn’t comprehend proper following or stopping distance, ran stop lights more than once, and clipped three or four curbs. That was only in the one time I allowed her to drive before telling her to pull over and let me drive, terrified she was going hit someone. For three years she had asserted she was capable of driving and nothing was wrong with the way she operated a.
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