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Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: ‘Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?’ Slim says, ‘I feel just like a newborn baby.’ ‘Really!? Like a newborn baby!?’ ‘Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.’A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: ‘So I hear you’re getting married?’ ‘Yep!’ ‘Do I know her?’ ‘Nope!’ ‘This woman, is she good looking?’ ‘Not really.’ ‘Is she a good cook?’ ‘Naw, she can’t cook too well.’ ‘Does she have lots of money?’ ‘Nope! Poor as a church mouse.’‘Well, then, is she good in bed?’ ‘I don’t know.’ ‘Why in the world do you want to marry her then?’ ‘Because she can still drive!’Three old guys are out walking. First one says, ‘Windy, isn’t it?’Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’ Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer... ‘A man was telling his neighbour, ‘I just bought a new. I mean, if anyone ever found out that ..." No one is going to find out, trust me. Your secret is safe with me. But do you mind if I ask you something about your stories since I've already read them?" At this point, why not?" "Is everything you wrote based on fantasy, or is some of it real?" I asked. "I noticed that the names and descriptions in one of the stories were a little too familiar...you know...the one about the sisters who 'experimented' with each other..." "Well there's no point in denying it now," she said casually. "Yes, that story was written based on your Aunt and I. We were young at the time, college age, and naturally we were curious about certain things. We used to talk about our sexuality a lot with each other because we were really nervous about opening up to other people. Keep in mind that this was decades ago, where two women being intimate together was a lot more taboo- so we played with each other. And now, obviously, she's happily married to another woman.".
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