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‘Jack! You’ve got to come over so we can open this present.’ She had met most of the platoon members and liked them. She liked anyone who seemed to like her future husband. I was preparing an operations order for presentation the next day and couldn’t leave immediately. By the time I got there, a small crowd had gathered: Kathy, her roommate, two other nurses, three single girls from the same complex and three miscellaneous boyfriends. Two other gifts had shown up and plenty of alcohol was flowing. The other two presents were opened first. Both were conventional choices of stainless steel flatware. Kathy guessed the platoon’s present was a serving bowl as she unwrapped it, but several pieces of tissue paper had been laid across the top and then taped to the underside. ‘Guys,’ she said exasperatedly. ‘They either don’t wrap things well enough or they over-wrap.’ She pulled the tape free and then pushed the tissue paper off. ‘What’s this?’ She pulled out one of the condoms. Suddenly,. Gathering my wits about me, I nodded and let him in. Finally, my brain started working and I offered him a drink. He asked for a scotch and a poured myself a double, although I could be pretty sure it was a triple vodka and orange. Sitting down beside me on the sofa, he proceeded to explain all about life insurance. LIFE INSURANCE????? I mean wtf right? Who on earth can concentrate with Adonis there. Like I cared if I died right there on the spot. And he kept on asking whether I was understanding. Yeah yeah just go on and on and on. I was feeling the heat swirling up between my legs. My heart was racing. The universe for once was on my side and whollop and crash, lightening struck. Hey, I mean it. The thunder was tremendous and the heavens opened. It started pouring, which made me scream and jump up, nearly knocking his drink out of his hand. “Nothing to be scared about” he said to which I looked at him like he turned into a two headed monkey. Right again I thought. With another.
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