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Grad students and other book addicts need not reply.Heck, one can be up to six minutes late without even Stumpy the wonder nerd noticing. Not that it matters because all he could do is whine to the exact same manager who shares my extremely low opinion of the pimply-faced pain in the ass (it is only a rumour that the guy I replaced was fired for hiring his annoying hind end, but he wasn’t a happy camper so I think that he hired Stumpy as revenge). Even if I was spared the pitiful complaints of my least favorite employee and most of the store was still standing, I was still disappointed in myself for running late. Not so disappointed that I couldn’t enjoy the secret pleasure that I felt for the reason that I had for being late.So I went into the store humming to myself, as I checked the state of confusion. Stumpy stood at a register with a matronly looking woman and a soccer mom.Teresa and Julio, two college students, were busily pretending to stock and straighten the latest legal. Like... "I want you down on your knees," Matt sang, imagining Jake's voice and then imagining his own again, mixed with the others. "You're here to ser-vice me." He nodded in satisfaction and then stopped long enough to write that down on a piece of paper. He then began working on more Jake lyrics to go between the service me lines."Bring your girl-friend please," he sang. "Just don't bring no disease. Yeah, you're here to ser-vice me! You're here to ser-vice me! No talking, no names, please! You're here to ser-vice me! I like to come clean you see! You're here to ser-vice me!"He played and sang, pausing every few minutes to write down the particular lyrics he thought were keepers (he rejected the ones about "no cottage cheese" and "watch those teeth if you please"). By the time the LAPD finally pushed their way into the condo — assisted by the building manager (who had pounded on the door, unheard for more than twenty minutes) and his passkey — he had all of the chorus sequences.
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