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I became depressed, having realized that I could never keep up my exhaustive strain to be cute and funny for all eternity. To always be the object of desire which never received any physical pleasure of her own. To always be pleasant. To never feel lonely, jealous, afraid, or bitter. To always make his lunch. To always make his dinner. To always kiss him goodnight even after he’d already rolled off my prone body and began to snore. To always, always, be. I visited therapists and even spent some time in a mental hospital, trying to fix myself. Trying to get better for him. To be worthy of him. To be good enough. I took the pills they gave me. I worked on my ‘coping skills’. We even visited a marriage counselor. I promised to be a good wife, to listen to him, to keep giving and never, ever stop. After childbearing I found the strain even more difficult. Firstly, my beauty was greatly diminished. Not just my body which everyone sees, but my most intimate areas were negatively. He has been nice to me for as long as I can remember, but this is too much. I don't even know if I can paint or not. I used some cheap water colors once — one time." And did you like it?" Arlene asked."Oh, I loved it, but this store is way too expensive." It's not," Arlene insisted. "They have quality merchandise — not junk. Look, Dad gave us instructions to set you up with everything an artist could possibly want. He was very emphatic about that. Not that he needed to remind us, but maybe I need to say this. God has been good to us. Daddy will earn more in the next hour than you could possibly spend in here during that period of time, even if we stripped the store bare. Remember the two paramedics that came to help you?" Vaguely," Hope responded. "I think I was pretty much out of it." Well, they were fired from the fire department because they broke some rules in saving Art. If those men had not broken the rules, Art would have died. Our foundation set them up with a free trip.
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