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Even now I can’t be sure what it was but I remember feeling very insecure and began to feel ashamed of what I increasingly believed was an inadequate endowment.Perhaps my first step on the road to being a cuckold began then. What is certainly true is that I began to lose confidence in bed and became more and more aware of the shortcomings in my performance.Every time we fucked the same questions buzzed round my mind; had it been good for Kate? Had she reached orgasm? Was I disappointing her? Surely she couldn’t be satisfied by so small a cock?This belief persisted for some time, growing stronger and stronger until eventually my fear of failing to satisfy her sexually made me tell her that, rather than force her to have a inadequate sex all her life, I wouldn't stop her from sleeping with someone else if she so desired, providing that she told me it was happening.Kate was surprised rather than shocked, but said that that was not likely to happen.*Strangely and despite believing I was. " He chuckled. "Granted, that's kind of like the cliche of writing what you know, but it still has to be done well." Second, maybe you don't like gays. I've actually spoken with some erotica writers who are violent homophobes, so I know it's possible - though some of those guys write the hottest male/male rape stories." He shook his head. "It doesn't fit though. Anyone who can write a story about a man molesting his cancer-ridden aunt where the sex is gripping and the guy comes off as a sympathetic figure - well, that person wouldn't let mere dislike keep him from writing a story."He took a long hit from his beer. I appreciated the compliment - I was justifiably proud of that story - but waited for the other shoe to drop."Third, you could be one of those guys who's afraid if he writes about homosexual activity people will think he must be gay himself. But hell - you've written half a dozen stories about that transsexual plumber, and nobody in the critique boards has ever suggested you.
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