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I felt it would be a betrayal of our friendship if I decided otherwise. My son, Ronie had just had a fight with his father over what he planned to do with his life and so he was not going either.I decided to spend the next few months with Ronie in my parent's old house in the countryside. He had just returned from his year long "vagobonding"/ "bumping around" in Europe. We had not been back here since my mom passed away two years ago. It took us three whole days to clean up the inside and many more days to get the yards back to any semblance of domestic orderliness. It would be the longest duration in memory that Ronie and I would live together as mother and son. Ronie was brought up mostly by his grandmother and nanny and had spent most of his teen years in a boarding school up state. It was not an exageration to say that on our second day living as adults together I realised that we were not acting like mother and son towards each other. Ronie refused to engage me in any meaningful. He had refused to be a father to Amy, refused to have anythingto do with bringing her up, except in so far as he supported her mother inevery decision she made. Instead he became a confidant, a teacher and afriend. When he had died she had felt torn apart. She had felt guilty fornot having appreciated every second she'd known him.She didn't really remember her real father. All that was left of him wasthe faintest feeling of dread, a sickness in the stomach when she thoughtof him and an occasional shadow cast over her dreams.And then there was Him. She knew nothing about him, not a name oranything. She just knew he was there, somehow, deep down in the pit of hersoul. He wasn't like an imaginary friend. He never appeared to her orspoke to her. But occasionally, in certain situations, it seemed he wasthere. At school, in maths tests, or when she was in trouble with ateacher or got into a fight, it seemed he was there and she knew what to door say. It was possible that once,.
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