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She also told me I was cute". My brother looked at me and then said "well that was a surprise; I wasn’t expecting you to go to my in-laws house and come out with a girl". I told him that I didn’t get a girl she just told me I looked cute. He told me "Dude wake up! She is totally in to you! Did you at least say the same thing back"? I nodded and said "yeah I said that I thought she was also cute". He said "and then she hugged you. Come on man you know she is into you". I didn’t know whether or not to ask her out.I thought about it the whole ride home and all of the night. When I woke up from a sleepless night I still thought about what she said and what she meant. I checked if she had a Facebook and like most people she did. I sent her a friend request and within 2 minutes she accepted and sent me a message. It said "hey cutie". I didn’t now how to respond so I said "hi big cutie". She sent me a message saying "I would love to go hang out with you sometime". I said "ok sure if you. I didn’t even have a dog. A dog would be nice. Conversations with paddle boarding friends or guys from the martial arts school were all focused on a single, superficial aspect of life. Phone calls and text messages with Amanda were a nice change but it’s not the same as waking up next to someone you love every morning. I knew that would be nice and that possibility had seemed very real with Elsa but then, poof, it was gone. Janice had invited me to Thanksgiving dinner and I’d turned her down, like I turned down every other invitation. Was she just being nice or was there something more? All of our previous conversations made it seem like she had an interest and that it was growing. For someone pretty in-tune with others, I wondered how I had missed that. Or maybe I hadn’t missed it but wasn’t ready to welcome it. I really didn’t want to blow it and miss an opportunity but I didn’t want the disappointment that a failed relationship would bring either. Knots. I was mad at myself for.
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