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But now with Eddie in that hospital, drugged up but still there; and Seth next to me and Luke in the other room--I cared. I cared about a lot of things. I think I just wanted to make the best of everything.No. I didn't just want to make the best of things. I wanted to experience them. Everything. I wanted to go into that hospital in the morning and tell Eddie that every time I said I didn't need him while I was growing up, it wasn't all true. Because now I realized that even if my mom had given me everything she could have, I'd still missed him. It just took a while to realize it. And, I wanted to be around while Luke was going through whatever he was going through right now. I wanted to be there for him in any way I could, even if that meant standing back to let Dave help him. I wanted to invite the Fishers over for dinner and beg Jase not to let Eddie cook. I wanted to be with these people. I'd chosen it, and I wanted to do a lot more than simply make the best of it.School. It was. He looks forward to fucking you again sometime, so I told him to drop by your house some morning while Tom's at work. I hope you don't mind." Joan was blushing so red she felt like she could explode, "but, I can't, I wouldn't, that wasn't me, I don't know what happened. I think I'm going crazy, I didn't mean to do that, really I didn't, you have to believe me, I would never do anything like that." As she rambled on, almost incoherent, Gloria and Mona looked at her patiently. They knew what had happened, that Joan was finally opening up and beginning to realize how much there was that she had denied herself, but it would take a while before she could admit it, even to herself. And they were going to help her, whether she liked it or not. They waited for her to calm down before continuing, since what Joan was going to have to do next would certainly shake her up. Mona took control of the situation, "Now Joan, stop making excuses and admit it, you liked it and you know it. Whatever else.
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