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By the time Clare and I got to the hospital, she was already dead.The next few months were utter hell with anger, misery and despair ever present in our lives. Ray remained inconsolable, but slowly, oh so slowly, Clare and I began to come to terms with our loss. Now only too aware of the ephemeral nature of our existence, we decided we would start a family.We were both confident that she would fall pregnant quickly - her late twin sister had done just that - but it did not happen. Our hopes were dashed every month with the onset of her period. Eventually we went to a clinic and to my dismay, it was discovered that I had an abnormally low sperm count. The specialist assured me that it had no influence on my sexuality, that it was quite commonplace, and most importantly that I might still be able to father a child. It was just that I was firing blanks most of the time. He suggested that we limit our sex to those times when she was most fertile. I must say that consulting a chart and. She looked at me and I saw in her looks that she was very moved by all this, she felt very confident and I loved her for that too. I was very happy too, but taking it more low-profile, focused on here and now. So I smiled to her timidly but I felt very comfortable with her, and I wrapped my left arm around her right and got closer to her, laying her on the carpet, sucking on he left nipple slowly at first, then licking it with hard strokes of the tongue, but no biting, and lots of lip-work. The look on her face was so nice to see when I’d occasionally check on her face for inspiration or curiosity, stimulation, whatever the name it wears, I felt she had longing for this since a way longer while than I had thought. And with all those exercises I had just done, I felt very strong and flexible, and I put my body sideways with my left hand gripping to her right shoulder and I wrapped my other hand on her left rib-side, playing sensually with my fingers on her sides, which felt so small.
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