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“Alison, remember me?” said the girl, with an enthusiastic grin on her face. “I’m Riley – remember? I met you last week ‘ere in the park. I wanna be an arse-fucker, like you. I love the stuff you do: you’re so fuckin’ amazin’!”Alison groaned. “Oh fuck, girl, will you fucking leave me alone?! I’m not in the mood, okay?”Riley looked disappointed, but did not give up. “But… Can ya give me some advice? You’re at the RAF, aren’tcha? ‘Ow do I get in there? Can ya help me?”Alison’s temper cracked. “Riley, let me tell you: being a fucker is shit! Everyone at the RAF is full of shit! Being a fucker makes people vindictive and dishonest! I was attacked by a fucker! My friend’s dad was killed by a fucker! Fuckers are manipulative, murderous liars! And all the gaping asshole in the world won’t protect you from all that shit! And, what’s more, since starting at the RAF, two people have declared ‘love’ to me! Do you know what that does to a girl? It fucks you up! It’s fucked me up! Now it’s fucking. "It's Tofu Bacon. Contains none of that nasty chemical filled meat. Meat is the cause in one out of every ten deaths."Naturally, I could not resist the obvious comeback. "If meat is responsible for 1 in 10 deaths, does that means tofu, fruits and vegetables are responsible for the other nine deaths?"My wife reached over to my sons plate, then stuffed a piece of the tofu bacon in her mouth. She made a face before swallowing. "Beth, It is easier to change a man's religion then his diet."Beth just sighed, than clapped her hands. "OK, Kids, time for school. Everybody into the Prius."I picked up my smallest son and his cousin in a bear hug. "You sit and visit Beth. I'll take the kids to school."Beth waved her hand. "No, It's OK Ron. I do not want you wasting gas in that big truck of yours. The children can fit into the Prius."I lifted the giggling boys over my shoulder, onto my back. "Beth I am running on my own homemade Bio-diesel, so no worries." I threw both boys into the air before.
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The technician had me remove all metal and asked me to lie down. She slid my head into the center of the machine and told me that I would be hearing some drumming sounds. I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. I was woken up with what seemed a few moments later and was told they would be giving me a gallium dye that would show my brain better. I told here there was nothing there."We'll see about that," she said in a business like manner."You don't understand. There's nothing there. I've lost my marbles years ago." I pointed to my scalp. "Besides all my gray matter leaked to my hair." That's okay. We'll find your tiny little brain even if your skull is too thick." I didn't mine her beating me. By the time the conversation was over the doctor had injected the dye into my vein. My head was again brought to the center of the machine and I heard the familiar sounds of the vibrations. In less than a half hour I was again woken up and told I would find out the results in a day or two.I.

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