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He soon reached his limit.“Esther!” he called and drove into her. He throbbed and throbbed. Then he collapsed onto her softness.“Sorry,” he said when he could move aside. Then he realized that he had delivered a greater wrong than merely not moving aside when he had his climax. “I am very sorry, Esther, and I shall try to make this up to you.”She said nothing, and he got out of the bed and kissed her. He took his clothes into the next room and dressed there. Then he rang for Ian and carried a fresh pair of boots into the sitting room.“Milord?” Ian asked. When George lifted the boots, Ian put them on. “And the young gentlewoman?”“She is resting until her clothes are dry. Have them sent up when they are, will you.”Apparently, either Ian or someone in the kitchen took that to mean a series of actions. The drawers, stockings and chemise were brought up together. The drawers and chemise, both linen, were still a little damp. The woolen hose were much wetter. After waiting long enough to. I thought of that conversation the rest of the week. I wondered if deep down I did feel unworthy. Maybe she was right to ask that question. Maybe it was a question I needed to consider.Looking back I tried to remember a time when I knew a relationship with a man that was unfettered. My father had been demanding. He was never pleased with me or proud of anything I accomplished. He spent most of my early childhood ignoring me when he could or beating on me when he couldn't and most of my teen years chastising me. My grandfather had no use for granddaughters and chose, instead, to give his attention to my male cousins.Before Billy and I became more than friends I had dated a couple of different guys. They only wanted to hike my skirt up. It was always something that the men in my life wanted, whether it was sex or for me to be something I'm not. They never just wanted me for me. Maybe the problem was that I believed myself to be unworthy of a man that could give of himself, if there was.
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