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Shortly after I heard him call to me he was heading out. I said goodbye from upstairs, slightly relieved he had gone.It had taken all I had to say no to him this morning. I kept thinking of it. His words. His hands on me. How good they felt as he travelled up my thigh. How right it felt. It wasn't like I hadn't thought of it before. I had, many times in fact, thought of him, of us, as I masturbated.James and I had always been so close. His father left when he was just a baby and had never been around. It had always been him and me. There had been a man here and there over the years for me, but not one who had stayed or that I wanted to become part of our life. I was always happy to have it just be us.As the day went on I had to keep pushing the memory of that morning's events out of my mind, but over and over they returned. I started to question myself. Why was it so wrong? Why could I not have him? I obviously wanted him as much as he wanted me. Who were we hurting? He was an adult. The others sat around spent grinning at each other, paying lame compliments to their Mistress. Jenny sighed and sat back. “God that the spot.” I heard her say. As I slunk back away from the ledge into the sucking blackness I felt like my life had ended. I blinked awake at eleven thirty the next morning. The second I was conscious the pain began. Very gently I turned myself round in the bed. Next to me I could see a beautiful wave of strawberry blonde hair. I hitched myself up a little until I could see the left side of her face. She had obviously cleaned herself up a great deal before coming to bed. Now she slept peacefully, no doubt exhausted. I wanted to hate her, but I didn’t. She was unspeakably beautiful. But the longer I looked at her the worse the pain grew. I took a final, long look. I rose and walked through the house like a zombie, not recognising my surroundings, not feeling anything except pain and humiliation. I bumbled into the long opulent kitchen without truly.
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