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For one thing, the numbers desiring the M to F swap outnumber those wantingto go the other way by two to one. For another, most have unrealisticexpectations, especially the men. They come in here, short, balding, pot-bellied, and want to be transferred into last year's Miss America.It ain't gonna happen, guys, I have to tell them. Not too many want to giveup those kinds of bodies. And those that do usually want to be six-foot-fourmuscle-bound studs with wavy hair. So usually, I have to help everyone adjusttheir idealized expectations to cold reality. Of course, a little creativepackaging doesn't hurt, either. What do I mean by that, dear diary? Simple.Since the exchange must be mutually agreed upon by both parties, I try toconvince everyone to make the goods as attractive as possible.Take the guy who came in today. At 24, he's young enough, and atfive-foot-11, he's tall enough. Too bad he's got a pot belly and kind of asallow complexion and is really a sloppy dresser. Our get. Did Grandpa think I was so greedy that I couldn’t be trusted with the family money?It was probably a good thing that I had something to be angry about. It proved a good distraction from grief, or confusion, or worries, or whatever other feelings I might have had. A week or so after the funeral when I had some free time to do a little introspection, I found that I was doing okay under the circumstances.One thing that I was still getting used to was my new bodyguard, Ewan. He wasn’t a man-mountain like Dan, but he still looked in good condition. More importantly, he was more like a big brother figure than the father figure Dan had assumed, and I found that I liked that. But he was still a bit of an unknown quantity, so I decided I needed to put him to the test.On our way home from school one afternoon, I asked him to stop at a small parade of shops that I knew was nearby. When the car drew to a halt, I put my plan into action.“Your job is to keep me safe, right?”He furrowed his brow.
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