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Why, why, why?" What frightened you? Did you think you might get hurt?" No. Mark would never do that and it's not as though I've got a hymen to bust. Riding took care of that ages ago." Were you frightened you might not be good enough?"Victoria stared at her. "Not consciously," she said slowly, "but that might have been it. I sort of rationalised it that I would be giving something to Mark which would make me permanently his and which I could never take back." But you've already given yourself to him; mind, body and soul, haven't you."Victoria nodded."And you're not thinking of taking any part of it back?"Victoria shook her head vehemently."You're still as much in love with him as when you agreed to marry him, aren't you?" More. It hurts when he's not there." So there's nothing more to give him. You've already given him your fanny as part of your body." I suppose I have. So all that rationalisation was a load of self-deceptive rubbish."Serena smiled at her. "That's one way of putting. But now, as Sharon pointed out, I have blossomed into more within our makeshift family structure under Hein. With the realization that I can still be my own person but also a part of something larger, I have gained so much more in return.Wolf also reflects sharp intelligence and strong instincts in dealing with important and complex matters. This was exactly the qualities Hein saw in me and desired for the business half of the relationship. His ability to recognize that so quickly and to trust in that recognition made me nervous, at first. It seemed like a lot to live up to and to perform to. But, his continuously calling on me to trust my instincts, not just in my ability to analyze numbers and information, has proven him right, even to me. It can mean that the recognition of Wolf as a Spirit can be a call to use those instinctual strengths in dealing with a challenge that is being experienced in life. Overcoming the challenge of being at Hein’s right-hand came relatively easy in.
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