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Amazingly he wasn’t seriously injured – just a lot of little nicks and scratches.He immediately started hollering for help and my wife was stumbling around, almost incoherently yelling at me.So ... I stepped through what was left of the plate glass window... ... and broke his nose ... and knocked out a few teeth ... and broke his jaw ... and a few ribs ... then kicked him in the balls.It was about that time that the police arrived.They had a naked man in my front yard and a nearly naked woman standing on my porch.Yet they arrested me for some reason even though I explained that this was MY house, that was MY wife and the naked guy was the scum who was trying to check her tonsils with his dick.Damn cops.My attorney tried to explain it to me.“If you had just shot both of them or at least the guy,” he began, “they probably wouldn’t even have taken you in for questioning. Just taken your statement on the spot and characterized it as justifiable homicide, a crime of passion.“However,. I settled on to a bar stool behind the counter and switched on the radio. We had one radio station that we could pick up and all that it played was country western. A pickup pulled up to the gas pumps and a rather nice-looking fellow got out and started to pump gas. I watched him on the closed-circuit television monitor we had behind the counter. He finished pumping the gas and walked towards the store doors. I stood up to greet him.“Hey,” I called out cheerfully as he walked in through the doors.“Hey,” he called back, without even so much as looking my direction. He headed straight to the beer cooler. He grabbed a bag of Doritos and approached the counter. He was in his late twenties or early thirties, tall and ruggedly handsome. He say the items on the counter top. I scanned the items and looked at the register.“Twenty-one thirty three,” I said.He fished in his billfold looking for a credit card.“Can you hang on a minute?” he inquired, “I think I left my card in the car.”He darted.
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