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I really got into watching Oprah and I found it harder and harder to have dinner ready when Al got home. One night I had a dream. I was kissing some movie star. I opened my eyes and it was --- Mel Gibson!!!! I woke up screaming and covered in a cold, clammy sweat. The next morning during my shower, I noticed my Adam's Apple was smaller. I spoke and my voice was higher! What was happening to me! I got out my Playboy's and looked at the centerfolds. I didn't get hard! Not even for Anna Nicole Smith! I put on my bathrobe and ran to Al's room. He was already awake and I told him happened. I wanted to show him but he threatened to punch me if I did. But he did get on the phone to Dr.Iggy's Discount Pharmaceuticals in Tijuana, Mexico. I was biting my nails as Al spoke to the company. "Hello. This is Al Bundy. Get me Dr. Iggy........ What do you mean he can't come to the phone. When I pay a good $12.95 for something I expect to talk to the head man if I have a problem. Where. Jim had gotten their seats together in a group: the two teachers and Tina Davison sat in one row; Bobby with his girlfriend Jessica and sister Kim in another row; Denise, Jim's secretary Annie and Jessica's roommate Michelle in a third row; and Jim like a gentleman had volunteered to be odd one out and sit behind the rest of the group.The seed that started this trip was Bobby getting sick with the stomach flu and missing his senior trip to Las Vegas. He had moped around until Denise and Jim decided to do a family trip as a make-up. Bobby was thrilled and, of course, invited his girlfriend and her parents, though her father had a business trip and was unable to make it. Kim had, of course, invited her dorm roommate. Jim's secretary Annie had never been to Vegas and practically invited herself. Then one of Bobby's teachers that had also caught the stomach flu that had been going around, Joan McCloud, had also practically invited herself and talked Mrs Pittman into coming despite her.
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"Tell me, who was it he left you for? Was this his first tranny, or were there others in between? Or aren't you the kind who tells?" I asked."There have been plenty before this one; all tarts and harlots the lot. But this time he's taken up with a real sleaze-bag; she's had more pricks in her than a second-hand dartboard!" she spat."Her names Lizzie Swallows and she works in bar down near the docks; the kind that gets full of seamen. That's the bar, not Lizzie," she clarified her statement."I don't think I know it," I drawled, drawing on my cigarette and taking another pull at my drink."That's funny," said Mrs Fellatrix, "that's where I found your business card; also your name is scratched into the back of the men's-room door along with your home and office phone numbers," she countered."Ok, ok, I might have been there once or twice for a quick swallow err drink." I stumbled."Anyway the Cock. I'll get right on it." I said."I would prefer if it you took care of my case before attending.

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