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I'm a Vulcan's wet dream!" I understand your frustration, but please try to relax. I have created someprograms on the holodeck to help you with your transition..." * * * *Barkley got up and walked to his quarters. He couldn't help but notice thelooks he got from the male officers as he walked. He looked at himself(herself?) in the mirror. Long dark hair, long legs, full, round breasts.Shit, thought Barkley, If I had a dick I'd have a raging hard-on right now.He thought about what Counsellor Troi had said about the holodeck. What thehell, he thought, at least it would pass the time.As he entered the holodeck he accessed the program. "What level?" asked thecomputer. "Might as well start at one," he said.The room became a girls bedroom. Barkley looked at himself, he was a sevenyear old girl. There were two other girls playing with dolls."Computer, stop program. I've got better things to do than play dolly. Howmany levels does this thing have?". My Greek is basic, but I can get by: survival stuff. If you can order food and drink, ask directions, and be nice to women, then you’re fluent as far as I’m concerned. ‘Hi, Ariadne’, I said. ‘Another good day?’ She pouted prettily. ‘When summer comes it’ll be better. More young people and more fun.’ She looked at me curiously. ‘Why are you here alone? Why isn’t your woman with you?’ ‘I don’t have a woman, Ariadne. I’m here to rest.’ She nodded. ‘No woman.’ She smiled again and pretended to shuffle some of the paperwork on her desk. I carried on upstairs to rinse the salt away, and then sauntered down to the harbour for a pre-dinner drink. Two beers later I sat in the dining room and looked around. I could see what Ariadne meant. All the other guests were retired couples on package breaks, and I guessed that her job was mind numbingly dull. The pretty waitress who ran the dining room brought me salad and retsina, the tangy Greek wine that tastes like turpentine at first, but slips.
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