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What had he done? He had to get some air! Maybe he could make himself vomit. Thoughts were racing through his head faster than he could act on them. He got up and stumbled towards the kitchen. His legs suddenly felt like jelly as his stomach gurgled. He felt like he was going to throw up. He wretched and dry-heaved a couple times, almost collapsing. He wasn't going to make it to the kitchen. His shaky arms used the table for support as he continued to heave.His heart was beating a million miles a minute as he coughed between heaving breaths. Sweat beaded and poured down his face as the muscles in his neck strained. His fingers scratched at the table's rough surface as his chest grew tight. No, there was still time. It was panic, it wasn’t happening yet he told himself. But he knew that was a lie. Knowing what was coming didn’t stop the fear that had gripped him. All his determination felt like it had evaporated at that moment as he was helpless to stop it.“Emily! I need you!. ”“I dumped something really serious on you without any warning. It’s really not surprising that you were upset after I told you that.”“I need to sleep on it, OK?” Karin asked. “I promise we can talk more in the morning.”“Whatever you need,” I said.“I need YOU. But I’m not sure I can have you.”“I understand. Sleep on it, OK?”“I will. I’m going to my room.”“Good night.”“Good night,” she said and went to her room.I waited for Lars and Annika to finish the dishes.“Where’s Karin?” Annika asked.“She went to her room. She has a lot to think about and wants to be alone and sleep on it.”“I’m so sorry,” Annika said. “I wish I could help. You two seemed so right together.”“We are,” I said. “But there is an issue that Karin has to deal with before we can move forward. It’s my fault, really, because I dropped a real bomb on her, but it was something she needed to know.”“I hope you two can work this out.”“Me too,” I said. “Me too. I think I’ll go read and then sleep. Hopefully tomorrow things will.
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