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The k**s used to circle around me and chant "MUTANT DICK,MUTANT DICK! LALALALALALA". I can still hear the faint echos of their torment. My parents had to order custom pants for me. It was rough growing up. Then when I became a horny little bastard of a teenager- it sucked to be in school and to be hard because EVERYONE could tell- I would try to tell people that I had a third leg- somehow that would be more acceptable. I tried taking it out one day and putting a shoe on it but I was sent home. That afternoon, ashamed and sick of my preDICKament- I took out my father's hatchet. There I was, standing in the middle of my grandmother's room in front of her giant, ornate mirror, screaming at my reflection. I pulled out my dick and started yelling at it- spittle (little bits of spit) landing on the shaft "do it! you pussy!" i shouted. I raised the hatched and was about to end my problems when suddenly the ghost of my great-grandfather, Coxton Biggs, appeared in the mirror. "It's not always. I would see no difficulty in giving you a three-day emergency pass. I mean, I didn’t really ask, but your father indicated that your mother and brother are in the hospital. You don’t want to go home?” He seemed incredulous at that.I had turned and was staring out his window towards one of the parade grounds. It was all such a waste. I turned back to face him. “That won’t help, sir. It’s not really my place to speak, but my going back won’t help anybody. I’m sorry if I seem cold about it, but there’s very little left for me back there.”He shrugged. “I can’t say as I understand, but it’s not my business. If you change your mind, my door is always open.”I snapped back to attention. It was obvious I was being released back to duty. “Thank you, Colonel. I apologize for intruding. It won’t happen again.” I saluted, received a return salute, and I turned smartly and headed out. I had been gone almost an hour, about fifty-nine minutes more than my brother deserved.In my next letter from.
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