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No message from Grant. Not that I expected one.And no message from Teddy.Men suck.And now it was Monday. Now I HAD to go into the office and potentially run into one or both of the men currently freaking me out.What would I do if I bumped into Grant? Would he turn on the charm and try to re-seduce me? Would he pretend I didn't exist, that our history never happened, and that I was just another co-worker at the company? Would he run screaming down the hallway in the other direction at the mere sight of me?That last one put a little smile on my face, and armed with that, I made it all the way to my office, where I quickly sat down and tried to distract myself booting up my computer.But what about Teddy? Sooner or later, we would HAVE to talk about what happened Friday night. Grant would be easier to put behind me. He was a mistake, but nothing serious had happened. I'd let the rat crawl back into his hole and never think about him again. But Teddy? Well, sex changes people. And we'd. There was not a dry eye in the church when everyone saw my small black coffin. They all thought of me. In the emotional atmosphere they thought about how playful and nice I was. When they thought about me, a piece of my identity was lodged in their minds, and suddenly my existence on earth started to have significance. It seems almost worthless doing anything on earth unless other people recognise it. I knew, however, that once many of the churchgoers went home to watch TV, their memories of me would start to fade. My brother, my babysitter, my parents, and my few friends will continue to mourn, but everyone else will move on with time. When those who remember me finally leave the world, their existence on earth will leave only a tiny speck on the timeline of existence. A thousand years from now, no one will be around to recognize that I ever existed.What if Erika and I survived? Sometimes I wonder what might have happened. We'd get married, have children, grow old, watch our children.
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