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. I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.Senility has been a smooth transition for me.Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school?Me neither.I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented ... I forgot where I was going with this.I love being over 50. I learn something new every day ... and forget 5 others.A thief broke into my house last night ... He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW!, Right?I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.This is compliments of John L.A little something I thought would make you smile. A twist on the old USAF Enlisted. "Bitch, you are going to finish me off!" I rip the shower curtain back to reveal you, one hand at your mouth, one covering your breasts, startled and hunched into the corner of the shower, the water pouring down around you. The look of surprise and fear on your face emboldens me and I reach up and yank your thigh-high hose hanging from the shower rod. I pull your hands away from your face and your breasts, bobbing up and down as you flinch back, and I quickly tie your wrists together then tie them to the shower pipe, just above the streaming shower head, forcing your head and front under it and the water starts to pour down your face. "What the fuck are you doing? No, stop…..I have to get to work, don't -" "Fuck work, bitch, you're going to finish working ME, first! - Spread your legs. Spread your fucking legs I said!" I yell when you don't immediately comply."What are you going to do?" You yell as your mouth is filling with water and you continuously have to spit it out in order for.
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