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And of course I would be the one helping her out of it. Comforting her, telling her it will be okay. Not like that bothered me. She always found a way to make me feel needed. I loved that she always came to me when she was down, even if she found herself to be annoying.She sighed then ‘I want to..and I know if I don’t I will hate myself.’ she said looking straight ahead.I looked at her ‘you might hate yourself if you do’ I said giving her the possibility it might happen. She looked at me and nodded ‘I want you really really bad’ She said gripping the edge of my jacket.She stared at me and pressed her lips into a hard line, she inhaled deep ‘I just don’t want it to mean nothing to you’ She said studying my face.I stared at her for a moment, registering her statement. She had asked me about it before. I told her no sex until I was sure. I didn’t want to hurt her again. If something ever happened to her because of me….I would never be able to forgive myself.‘It would mean a lot to me’. As my d**g use increased, my sexual addiction increased and my needs and desires pushed me to limits that I hadn’t reached since I was younger and on d**gs. I had succumbed to Shawn’s request and began allowing him to pimp me out more, in exchange for providing my d**g supply and he was now bringing over men upwards to three or four times a week. In between having sex with his Johns, I was scheduling more appointments with my clients. We began keeping a calendar between us, in order to fit everyone in and to prevent overlapping sex meetings. I hadn’t been having this much sex since I was 28 yrs old and one of the busiest hookers in town. In the last two months I had fucked or sucked off nearly 5 or 6 men each day, on average, and if the time permitted, I would have wanted more. I was insatiable and my addiction played right into the hands of my youngest son’s father. If my husband, Mikey, ever found out that I had lapsed again, he might not forgive me. I was leaning against a brick.
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