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Oh my God, I’d done it, I’d invited him to my home. What was I thinking! What do I wear? What do I say? Will he like me? Will I like him? No going back! Then I hear the yard gate and know its too late — he’s arrived! Using all my inner strength I open the door and plaster on a smile. Phew it’s ok, he is still the lovely sweet man who had been chatting to me on the phone trying to figure out my needs and wants. I make coffee and we talked for an hour, how I regretted that hour now. Next time I’ll have him spank as soon he steps in through the door, heck I’ll even open the door in the buff. Even now I can’t explain why I want to be punished, why I want to submit and have him standing over me. He tells me that sometimes what seems like surrender isn’t surrender at all. It’s about what’s going on in our hearts, about accepting it and being true to it, whatever the contradictions, because the pain of not being true is often the greater cost. Murmuring ‘whatever’, I wash the mugs summoning. He was, however, becoming slightly concerned with her demeanor as of recently. She seemed rather moody lately, even to the point of being short with him when he asked if she was feeling ok. She did apologize to him later, claiming that she thought she was coming down with a slight case of stomach flu. This puzzled Jamie somewhat, as it was not the right time of year for something like that to be going around. Jamie did not have time to dwell on it, though, as he was tutoring other students, preparing for his own graduation, and getting ready to start his new life as a college student. He had just finished up a ten page report on William Shakespeare for Carol's class that he felt was some of his best work yet. This paper would be worth 30% of his semester grade, and he could hardly wait to hear Carol's reaction to it.Jamie was sitting in Miss Dawson's class about a week before graduation, and he was really starting to get concerned. Carol was now not only moody, but she seemed to.
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