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Soon I was dancing with Sam and having a good time. My boyfriend meanwhile was back and chatting away with his two friends, probably about football or some other boring topic he used to get passionate about.Meanwhile, Sam was dancing closer to me. She then spun me around and put her hands around my hips. I could feel the hardened nipples of her small breasts rubbing against my back as we danced. I never had a woman dancing with me like that, but she did so confidently and I was happy to let her lead.After a while she whispered in my ears that it was getting hot and she suggested we go outside for some fresh air, which I agreed to.Outside, she led me to a more secluded corner and we sat down on a low wall and started chatting. Suddenly she clasped both my hands in hers and said, "You know Nessa, I really like you..." Well, thanks, it's nice of you to say-" No, you don't understand. I find you really attractive. I would really like to make you my girlfriend..."The reality of the. I had threesomes with him and his best friend, and another with him and his ex-girlfriend. I was willing to do whatever it took to please him no matter how it made me feel. So that night I went to that hotel not knowing who would be there, but pretty sure someone else might be. I’m not saying that I wasn’t raped, but I know I have to change how I’m acting because if I don’t I will continue to be a victim. But there is probably one thing that I needed to hold onto. I know my best friend might not understand, but I think I had to hold onto it because if I didn’t then it puts it all on me. I had to believe that there is a little bit of good in my ex-boyfriend. If there wasn’t any good in him, if he didn’t care about me at all then what did that say about me. I had to believe that he had no idea that the guy would rape me. I had to believe that he would never want me hurt like that. Everyday it gets harder to believe that he had any feelings for me at all. Everyday I believe.
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