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’ I stalked into the kitchen and got some paper towels. When I turned around, she was right behind me. Her arms wrapped around me and I stiffened. ‘Shhhhh,’ she said softly. ‘I don’t want you to hurt. I wish I could take away the pain.’ I cried and laughed at the same time. ‘Nothing can take away the pain. Not even sleeping with you.’ I could see tears in her eyes and she smiled. ‘No, not even sex can take away the pain of losing someone.’ She held me close and my throat closed up. I don’t know how long I cried on her shoulder. I felt like Sharon had just left me that morning. All the pain tore at my insides again. She led me back to the couch and poured herself a drink of vodka. She looked me in the eye and tossed it back. Then she just held me. I cried again until, as suddenly as they came, the tears were gone and I felt drained. Emotionally drained. I considered kissing her and I rejected it. I didn’t need a sympathy fuck, even if I could have lured her into my bed that way. I. He came to my place one weekend. He hadhis medical suitcase with him. We went down to the basement early in themorning. We agreed in that it was best for me to strip naked, because ofthe sweat, vomit, etc. It wasn?t cold in the basement, yet I gotgoosebumps as I stood stark naked in front of Mark. ?Sit down,? he ordered.The chair was colder than I had expected. I putmy legs across the arms of the chair, fully exposing my groin. Markmethodically roped my limbs to the chair. They were very tight ? but thatwas the aim. When he was done, I could only move my head. After the preparations Mark took out the vice.It had taken a long time to choose the mostappropriate and suitable device. Basically nothing more than two plasticplates connected by a turn-screw. The cards would be moved closertogether or farther apart by turning the screw.At this point, we agreed that we wouldexperiment only on my left testicle, so if something went wrong, I would notlose my reproductive ability..
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