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Dave walked in and Randy handed him five dozen Titleist Pro V1 golf balls. Dave asked what they were and Randy explained that all players without sponsors received them for the tournament. Dave asked whether it would affect his amateur status or college eligibility and Randy said it wouldn't.Dave went right to the practice tee and hit balls for forty minutes before going to the practice green. The greens were smooth and Dave felt he adapted to them well. It was eight forty-five when he heard his named called to report to the tee. Roger carried Dave's clubs and they walked to the tenth tee. Dave's stomach was churning and he actually thought he was going to throw up.He fought his nerves as he reached the tee and managed to smile at Mike and Bob Estes. They shook hands, exchange scorecards and wished each other luck. Dave looked at both Mike and Bob and both looked excited but not overly nervous. Dave walked over to his father; Roger could see the stress in his son's face and. Denial is intrinsic. Denialsprings from not accepting who we are for a number of reasons. Just asthose around us might not believe that we are crossdressers we ourselveshave trouble believing it. I can still remember the first time I shaved mylegs and the mixed feelings it brought up in me. Shaving your legs isindicative of a commitment to crossdressing, a commitment that makesdenial difficult if not impossible. I was giddy at having shaved my legsyet struggled with accepting my true self. Many if not most of us areperfectly normal guys who routinely participate in manly activities butnow and then we cross the gender border or perhaps more tellingly dancearound it. Denial is also dependent on just how good we look whilecrossdressed. This is a theory but bear with me. Those of us who arefortunate enough to look good, great, and passable are, in my own opinion,less likely to engage in denial. Those of us who unfortunately look likelinebackers in sacks are more likely to engage in.
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