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It was only part of the cyber security, which I forced on him.I explained to him that one day someone would grab his computers and try to trace his movements back to me. He needed to set up a system to make if difficult, if not impossible to do. One thing about ole Peter the Wolf, he listened.He explained that he went to a swap meet in Tryon. There he bought a five year old laptop. He got a really good deal because it had a very small hard drive and memory capacity. It also was at least two generations behind in processors."A big processors and lots of memory is very. very important if you are playing games, or downloading movies. However, if you are just going to do research. a slower, older computer is fine. Memory might be a good thing, but most computers, even the old cheap ones, can have more memory added. That's what I did." he explained."Okay, so now you have an old computer that they can grab and trace back to me?" I suggested."Well not easily. I took the hard drive out. Those three months were the worst of my life, I was mourning my marriage, I was having flashback episodes because of the **** and the trauma of the relationship I was in. I was suicidal at best. Sometimes just staring at walls for hours, sometimes hurting myself. And of course, having lots of pointless sex.Then I met my current partner, and fell in love. We were instant, absolute best friends, and he’s helped give me the strength to climb out of that disaster and become a functioning individual. Even in such a way that I know if our relationship ever ended, I would be okay. Our relationship is a constant choice, rather than a necessary crutch like my others have been. It’s something I hope everyone has the chance to experience in their lives.And yet, I still sometimes fall into the pattern of making photos and videos, sharing information and asking for terrible things to happen to me. No matter how many times I try to quit, no matter the horrible consequences of it, it’s an addiction.
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