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"I suppose that means you can teach me a thing or two." I did my best imitation of a smiling leer.For once she didn't laugh, "If I ever get married I promise that our wedding night will make my husband's head spin!"An awkward silence followed, awkward for me, I'm not sure Cindy noticed. It had been said lightly, but after she'd murmured "I love you" on that Saturday, I'd been struck by the words "If I" and "my husband." I'd expected "When WE" and "make YOUR head." I had no right to expect it. I hadn't told her that I was interested in marriage. Frankly, I wasn't. What was bothering me was that I wanted HER to be ready.With a bit of insight, I realized just how much I needed to be loved by someone. I still hadn't let my parents know where I was. Just before my divorce became final, I got so lonesome I bought a disposable cell phone. When my father answered he practically took my head off, yelling at me for not talking to my mother. Then he blurted something about needing to give. For my part, I wasn’t exactly unhappy at how the weekend played out. I’d waited more than twenty years to live out my fantasy, and now I was (if you pardon my French) like a ‘dog with two dicks’. The conversation between Sue and I had gone a long way to damping down my fears. Her comment about having to trust her and there being no cast-iron guarantees still occasionally rankled and made me worry, but for the most part, I just pushed this to the back of my mind. The way I looked at it, Sue was just telling it how it was, rather than giving me meaningless platitudes and half-truths.But apart from the occasional moments of self-doubt and worry, I loved watching everything that happened for the rest of that weekend.And my enjoyment wasn’t just limited to watching the sex between Sue and Francis. My fears now damped-down, I enjoyed watching the moments of closeness between them. In some ways, these little cameos of intimacy were more erotic than their full-blown sex sessions.Watching Sue.
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