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You have no idea how many guys are sure I’m tapping all of them even if they say they are only into girls. Be cool and keep your opinions about her lifestyle to yourself. You will be pretty damn surprised to see what happens when you do.”He got the point, especially when I told him to get his butt in the back behind my seat since Trudy would be riding shotgun. She was higher on my friends list than him. I also joked that the five-point-harness wouldn’t let two sit up front so Trudy’s friend would have to ride in the back with him.That got through his head quickly enough.At the front door I just used my key to walk right in to find Trudy was still naked from her shower.I teased her when I said, “Frank would bust a nut right now if I had brought him in with me.”“Good for him. I’m sure I would be the first naked woman he has seen, besides his mom, in person. Now help me pick something out to tease him with mercilessly,” she told me.Versus unmercilessly?We settled on a pair of very short. EVER!!!!I’ve got scratches all over my thighs, a septic bite wound in one testicle and my shreddies are covered in skidmarks. I’m going back to using paper next week!This One Is Compliment of John A.This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico...New Mexico Chili Cook-off If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there’s no hope for you. I had tears in my eyes by the end.For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was from Springfield, Illinois.Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off ... The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came.
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