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I should have gotten a DUI. It would have been my second, which I most certainly couldn’t afford. But I drove there anyway.I’d been at work, then drinking after. It was a Sunday night become Monday morning. I was horny as fuck. My girlfriend was out of town, so I was free to roam and play, but this was still cheating. I couldn’t help myself. I wanted it. I wanted to suck a cock.A remnant of my single days, less than a month before, I still had Grindr on my old phone. Not on the phone I used day to day, but I had Grindr on my old phone. I logged on, trying to see if I could find a random cock.My Grindr account was fairly specific. I said I was bi, DL, and looking to suck cock. I also mentioned that if I had a guy’s cock in my mouth, I would probably let him fuck me. What it didn’t say is that I was now in a relationship, that I had a girlfriend. What I didn’t know until a couple of days later, is that my girlfriend wouldn’t want me out sucking random cock. She didn’t. I know I want you in my life, but I'm not sure how you feel about that. I haven't been intimate with a woman, since before my wife died. I couldn't give myself to another woman, not out of loyalty, mind you. It was self preservation, I suppose. My wife, had numerous affairs. I knew of her indiscretions, she was never subtle about it. Her lovers would phone, when I was home, and she would leave to meet them. I stayed, for the sake of the children. They needed one stable parent in the home. When she died, it was a relief. I never mourned the loss, like you mourned Michael. There was no need. I had mourned the loss of my marriage years before. Her death, was the finality I sought. Her death gave me freedom. Funny, when we first met, and married, we had a satisfying sexual relationship. When she started having the affairs, I lived a life of celibacy, not wanting to be the one who stepped out on his spouse, so she could ask me for a divorce." Michael was my first lover, I.
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