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How do you catch them?" Well, I crawl up under one of their Lexus cars and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the shit out of them and eat 'em!" Ah!" says the big Crocodile, "I think I see your problem. You're not getting any real nourishment. You see, by the time you finish shaking the shit out of a politician, there's nothing left but an asshole and a briefcase."The Difference between Grandpa and Grandma Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is:There was this loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son's family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old grandson out for a drive in the car for some quality time -- pancakes, ice cream, candy-- just him and his grandson.One particular Saturday, however, he had a terrible cold and could not get out of bed. He knew his grandson always looked forward to their drives and would. As a young c***d, I was practically her shadow, always following her around the house. She always called me the "man of the house," which I loved. She was always praising me and showing me great affection with hugs and kissed. I would always curl up next to her on the couch to watch TV. She used to let me fall asleep in bed with her before carrying me off to my room. Wendy was jealous and constantly calling me a momma's boy but I didn't care. Since I was around her so much, I got to see her naked fairly often. She wasn't an exhibitionist but she had no hang up about nudity. Mom never made any issue so to me the nudity was normal and I really paid no attention (until later). Most occasions, I'd be in her room while she dressed so I'd see her drop her towel to put on her lingerie. It wasn't until the summer I was t*n that things changed in a big way. Hanging out with a buddy one day, we came across his older brother's hardcore porn mags. It was my first time seeing a woman.
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