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And after a moment i realize He probably knows this. Part of me is miserable with the discovery, feeling a sense of failure because i have discovered that i feel i am a failure, and in irony i realize this is a vicious circle, which will feed on itself if left unchecked. A small part of me is a little relieved that at least now i will have an answer for Him when He asks to hear it. i have no idea how long i've been in the corner, perhaps 30 minutes. He has been quietly sitting behind me the whole time. i can almost feel His eyes burning into my skin. i wonder if He has any idea of the course of my thoughts as i've been standing there. i wonder if He can tell that i've reached a conclusion. i don't dare say i'm ready to talk, though. i know i must wait for Him to allow me to move or speak. i have started shifting my weight from one foot to the other. By now, not having had lunch or dinner, i am feeling a little flighty, though i have no appetite. i wait. and i continue to think. Why. ”Cerys fell on it, flicking through the pages eagerly, ignoring her friend for the moment. She stopped herself. “Sorry, Alli, do you want a drink? I’m being really selfish here.”“That’s OK. I understand. To be honest, I’ve found myself sucked in by all this – I must confess it’s all been a bit fascinating and I haven’t even got a man on tap. I’d love a glass of wine. It’s been a bit of a week.”Cerys fetched a bottle and a couple of glasses. “Here we are.” She passed a glass across to Allison. “Has it been fascinating enough to want to meet Gordon?” A raised eyebrow suggested that something more than a conventional introduction was in her mind.Allison looked warily across her glass. “You’re not suggesting an ‘Allison this is my kinky slave-friend, Gordon’ type of meeting are you?”Cerys grinned cheekily, leading Allison to think that was exactly what she had planned. “It depends,” Cerys said.” If you’ve found it as fascinating as you say, I’d love to show him off to you and it will give.
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