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"She's drunk." She drinks?" Among other things." I opened the door. "I'll talk with her and she'll pass out on the couch." Virginia! I know you're in there! Open the damn door!"I've dealt with Joyie before when she's been drinking. She's usually like Otis, the town drunk, on Andy Griffith, but whatever she was at the moment, was as far from Mayberry as The Bronx. So, when I opened the door I was braced for a fight. I wasn't prepared to see her dad's service revolver in her hand.Feeling my heart almost stop and then start again, beating in a rhythm that made me feel weird, I blurted out, "Joyie Ann Adkins, what the hell are you doing with your dad's gun?"Her laugh chilled me to the bone. She pointed the barrel of the weapon at me.I backed away from her and she followed me into the living room, where I bumped into the back of the sofa.Stopping, a few feet away from me, she said,"You bitch. You ratted me out." What?" You know what." Joyie, you're drunk and you're not making any sense.. " You really want us to do this?" I asked.My niece nodded.I looked at my handsome husband and said, "Its gonna be up to you, hon. Idont mind wearing a tux." Do we need to do this?" He asked."I'd really appreciate it." she pleaded.I grinned at him, and said, "I would do anything I could to make thiswedding a success. and I could ... make it worth your while, after."He smiled at that, and said, "Okay. I'm in."So a few weeks later, we went to a costume shop, and found me a tux thatwould fit me, and then we found a dress for my love to wear. "You better not be laughing at me!" he growled while trying the dress on."Oh no. Just the opposite. That outfit is getting me rather hot, if youknow what I mean."He looked at me shyly, and said, "Really?"I smiled, and said, "I'll ... show you when we get home."Finally, the day of the switch ceremony came, and I slipped into my tuxand waited at the front of the church for my "bride" to make his marchdown the aisle.He made a pretty sexy bride, in my.
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