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Showering meant I would have to remove my clothes and then put new clothes on, and that was way more effort than I felt up to. I decided to conserve what little energy I had for the two important things that I needed to get on with, to give the evidence box to Sean and to make sure that all of my friends were protected by taking them to my ‘safe house’, one of the smaller buildings at the country seat that housed the Delilah Institute. And yeah, if I still had some strength left after that I’d drag myself over to William’s to see if he could pull me up from the deep hole I’d managed to push myself into. One thing at a time though… I whispered to myself as I reached for my phone. I dialed Sean’s number and was sent to his answering services straight away. I tried calling once more, then a few more times. I stared at my phone in shock, Sean never shut his phone off. And if he hadn’t shut it off, perhaps that meant… that someone else had shut his phone off for him. And that someone. Nicole really awakened this from me, brought out of the shadows of fantasy, and physicalized it. In short I accepted who I wanted to be. I am a lesbian. Nicole was not my first crush on another girl. I've had many since I became aware of my sexuality. Mostly they were teachers who made my heart race whenever they touched me even in the most innocent way. My head swam. Although the concept of sex between two women was still alien to me I still had fantasies of us in bed together naked. The discovery of masturbation was a milestone in my life and physcalized my fantasies. As I lay in bed rubbing my pussy I dreamed of the woman currently the focus of my fantasies. Sometimes they wre friends whom I dare never expose my feelings to. I'd heard the word dike and knew that it was used in a negative way. So the fear of being outcast was always a weight on my mind during those early years. My parents grew somewhat concerned that I never dated nor showed any interest in boys at all. I was.
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